Changing Perspectives....

Me and my children on a day trip with a friend. I was about 22 yrs. old here and thought I was fat and ugly. Oh if only I could be that again lol

Yesterday was my baby boys 39th birthday. ( I cant possibly have a child that age, I'm just NOT that old, lol.) Anyway, I don't have much money right now and I cant make him the traditional bd gift that I used to do, which was homemade roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy. A side of broccoli with cheese. Cant ship that for sure. And so I remembered a thing I did for my grand daughters 18th bd and I made a picture album of her life on FB. So yesterday I decided to do the same for my son.

I went thru all my photo boxes pulling out photos I liked or thought he would. Sadly my printer/scanner I think is dying and it took me well over an hr to scan these photos. I even ended up pulling some out and doing less. In the end there were 27 in the album which I thought was wild since his bd is on the 27th too. Anyway, I was in some of these photos and I saw many in the boxes of course of me. But something about my perspective has changed and its weird.

All thru my marriage my ex was verbally abusive. He wanted a skinny wife and said nasty things about my weight all the time. Now mind you after I had my daughter I weighed only 116lbs. And when I had my son, he made me get on the scale in the hospital to see how much I gained. I was 135 then. sigh......sure wish I was either one of those now. But he made me always feel fat and ugly. What a terrible thing to do to someone and I was so young and gullible too.

I'm not thin now and I wish I was thinner. But working out doesn't do much for me and diets don't either. Only thing ever worked was low carb and weight lifting. I'm a short person but have always had a lg. frame. My ex would laugh at me when I said that tho. But there's a way to measure for that and I had that done. So I KNOW I have a lg. frame, big shoulders, big hips, lg. calves even when thin. But HE just refused to hear that. In HIS mind I was fat , fat ,fat all the time.

It wasn't till we were watching tv one day and a girl in a bikini came on the screen. She was anorexic looking , ribs and hipbones protruding. It was ugly. But HE thought she was beautiful! I was stunned, then sickened and then I realized all this time, it wasn't me that was the problem, it was him and what he sees. But this affected me for all the 30+ yrs I was with him.

And then I left and had to find out who I was. And I was much heavier and felt ugly. But I put myself out there to date and found out other men didn't think that. They loved me, thought I was gorgeous. I had lots of dates. And slowly my confidence came back. I started to like who I was again but it took me awhile to find out who that was.

And then this man who said those things to me my whole life, showed up at my grand child's HS graduation.....fat! In fact when he walked in at first I wasn't sure who it was. He is obese now. I laughed at the absurdity of it and my first thought was.....omg hes the Staypuff marshmallow man now. Karma and all that.......

Now Ive put on more weight and I don't like it but my guy now , loves the real me. And while he may not like that, he does love me and that's a good thing. But my own perspective after looking at those photos again has changed too. I see the photos and I know its me.... and yet its not. I look at that woman and I now see how pretty she really was. I had legs! And even heavier, I was pretty. I was always dressed nice and wore makeup. I was not a slob. And yet he never saw that.

And now me seeing ME from the ME who I am now....amazes me. Those same pictures used to bug me. I felt ugly in them, saw ugly and fat. I saw with HIS eyes, not my own. And now its weird , like I'm detached from that life and yet its mine. That's me in those photos. The real me I never saw all those yrs. How sad so much time was wasted thinking and feeling I was NOT enough. How sad how some people treat others, it has to stop.

We are all Children of God, we are all beautiful, no matter what our size or shape.

We are miracles....

And a review!

I had a recipe published in the last issue Aug./Sept. issue of Country Living magazine. I sent them one of mine and they love it. It was quite a surprise.

And so now that the next issue is out, I can post the article copy they sent me. But in the October issue, someone sent a review of my recipe and I was so stunned to see it. Im glad at least one person tried it and love it. 


"The recipe for peach-almond galette sounded so delicious that I had to bake it for my monthly girlfriend-get-together. Trust me, it was a hit!"  ~Lori, Palm Coast, Fla. 


Lori may never see this but in case she does I want to say.... Thanks for the great review, Im glad you loved it. :)

Yesterday was a busy day....and today will be too.

When I was a little girl Id spend summer with my gramma. Gramma would take me grocery shopping with her. Now gramma was always looking for good deals so she often shopped the marked down shelves. Some of that stuff looked pretty creepy to me. But she made do and bought what she could use. This brings me to today.

My friend told me shes getting stuff from the Grocery Outlet for her chickens. But they are giving her some pretty good stuff. Its way more than she can use tho. So she wanted to know if when she got the stuff would I want to come get some. I said yes but really didn't know if I would take it or not. So today she went and called me to come get stuff.

When I got there she had her pickup truck backed up to where the chickens were. I guess whatever she didn't want, she would feed them with. There were several boxes. Most looked pretty tired but was still usable. So we sorted thru what we could use and tossed the rest in the box for the chickens. There was a big box of cantaloupes but they were really not worth it , same with a bag of potatoes.

The my friend was tossing stuff into the chickens pen. One time she tossed a coconut and OMG it hit one of the girls. We thought at first she was hurt bad.....she walked funny and hardly at all and her wings were out and weird looking. My friend ran to see if shes ok saying omg Ill never do that again. By the time she got to her she was walking fine and on the other side of the pen so she must have just got knocked silly for a moment.

But they tossed more stuff in and lots of corn too. Omg the girls were having a party. I wished I had my camera with me then cuz it was so funny. They were so excited and running around tasting things. Before I left she let them out to run around a bit and she said boy were they full, they ate alot. It was fun to see tho since I never grew up around that kind of thing.

But I got several bunches of asparagus that were a little worn but still usable. We got tons of small oranges and lots of lemons and limes. I got several bunches of cilantro,  some nice tomatoes, some zucchini, a few jalapeños too. Also got one jicama, that's all I took since I don't eat it much. And we got one usable coconut that has no milk but tastes good. So tomorrow I'm going to grate it and put it in the dehydrator.

While I was there we started doing the produce. I had all I wanted in my car. But there were tons of limes and she didn't want them all. So while I juiced all the lemons and limes, she cleaned the yellow squash, zucchini and her asparagus.

I got one quart of lime juice which I'm going to freeze in ice cube trays to use for cooking. Ill do the same with my lemons here tomorrow. I did her lemons and limes too. I told  her how to snap the asparagus stems so she could blanch them. She cleaned the squash and froze that too. It was a nice afternoon tho of yakking and learning. And for helping her I got spoiled.....she gave me a big bag of frozen razor clams to make chowder with. I cant wait for the cold weather, those are great clams to use.

And so now I decided to cut up and save what I could of the asparagus. There was quite a bit so I decided since they were free, I'd pickle them. And so I searched online for ideas and ended up with my own recipe. They are in the canner right now. Ill let them mellow for a few weeks then try them. If they are good I'll post the recipe.

I'm washing the cilantro right now. I'm going to save what I can and run it in the food processor with some olive oil, then freeze it in small freezer containers. This way I can just scoop some out when I'm making my Mexican stuff.

Tomorrow Ill worry about the rest. Ill juice the rest and freeze it. Ill zest the small oranges too. My hands are pruney today so I don't want to put them in the water anymore. We are supposed to get more on Thurs. This might get to be quite a treasure hunt every week lol.

And so while I normally wouldn't do this sort of thing, money is getting tight and free is good. Now I think I understand why gramma did this.

One of my recipes will be published.

I haven't been online much due to a dead computer that's in the shop. So I'm having to borrow one when I can. But I wanted to post this so those that are interested would know whats coming up. A while back, I was on Facebook. I am connected to Country Living magazine on there. They asked for recipes for summer tarts or galettes. I figured many would do that and at first I wasn't going to send them anything. Then I thought what the heck, why not? So I sent them a link to one of my recipes. A few days later I got an email saying they loved it!!


I was so excited I started to cry. lol How silly I know but who would think they would be interested in lil ol me? And so began a back and forth emailing with photos of me and questions to answer so they could do their article. And so what you see up there is the cover of the issue Ill be in. Its the July/August issue. Not sure its out yet, they just posted their cover. But if your interested that's the one to look for. I am the readers recipe near the back.


So I guess I used up my 15min. of fame, huh? hehehe


*I just received my copy and theres a mistake. The front says its on page 121. Its actually on page 126. :)

I guess I'm a farm girl at heart

I dreamt of this but got a patch on the edge of suburbia. lol


I was sitting here on the computer, when I suddenly noticed the sun had come out. It was raining all morning. And so I opened my blinds overlooking the mtns and it was so beautiful. So here I am in my jammies and I decided to go outside on my back deck to soak up some sun. The Mormons were gathering at the church at the bottom of the hill. Rain was dripping from the trees in the woods and the birds were all singing, not just chirping,,,,,,,,,but singing. I closed my eyes to take it all in.....smells of rain and dirt, sound of the birds and the feel of sun on my face. I love it here.

And then coming back inside, reading here and there I'm seeing more women speak of being farm girls. I guess I am one too at heart. I don't think you actually have to have a farm to be one, I think its a mindset. There are women who have huge farms and work hard and love it. And there are suburban women who have a yard and garden and can what comes from it. And even some city women grow a few things or can or at least try to buy good organic or local stuff.

Now not all women are meant for that, just like all men are not meant to work all the time either. In some ways these days the gender expectations are blurring and its ok as long as someone is tending the children and home. But so many are working to survive both men and women and I think we are suffering because of that. I don't think life is meant to be lived this way, so hectic so .......being ON all the time. Even God rested.

And so I think burn out is occurring all over with men and women. And life is going to have to change once again. I always said Women's Liberation ruined my life. They made it so if your not outside of the home working, you were defective some how. Ive worked outside my home.....and burnt out over and over trying to do it all. Ive often said I need a wife too. And I think many men just don't get it. They have wives who do the rest for them. They get to go to work and come home and not worry about anything unless they have to. And its not fair.

Now I know there are more and more men understanding this because of moms who did work at a job and at home. We have to thank those moms for training their boys to help do their share. So many men today are more enlightened. But not enough. And so I think this back to the farm feeling women are having is for a good reason, we are tired and burnt out trying to have it all and do it all. The truth is you cannot have it all........at least not all at the same time lol

And so I think more and more women are becoming farm girls and realizing while doing that is hard work too.....its still a simpler life. People are on overload and nature helps to calm. Ive been feeling out of sorts lately and going outside today in that sunshine, made me feel a bit better. And Ive been working on my garden now that the weather is nicer too.

Just yesterday in between storms, I went out to do more on my raised beds. One of those times my bf came outside and watched me while he smoked. I think hes very surprised by all this,,,seeing a part of me hes never known. And so I told him this is actually normal for me. While I didn't grow up with parents who gardened, my grandparents did. I recall helping them in the summers when I stayed there and loving every minute of that. And so when I married I had a garden too.

My FIL used to have a big one so my ex grew up with that too. In our first house there was an empty lot next door. The city owned it but it was too small to build a house on it. So we plowed up half of it , fenced it in and grew a garden. We used to call it the North 40, lol. I told my bf , I had 40 tomato plants and 30 pepper plants, lots of string beans, carrots, beets, lettuce and onions and herbs. I spent most of the summer canning. He seemed surprised.

I told him I didn't grow much in CA. I did a yr or two and thought the kids would come pick things. After all it was just me then. But they didn't and it was alot of work for just me. And I tried 2-3 times when he was living with me too. But it got way too hot too soon and I could never get the plants in. He watched them wither and die even when he tried to keep them alive. So I guess he thought I was kidding or something when we moved here.

And then I had these raised beds put in here but they were put in late. So we didn't get much and again I think he thought, I wasted my time and money. But last yr I did buy alot of fruits and things for canning. And he watched me doing that alot in my kitchen, rather surprised. Again I told him I used to do it all the time. And so I think this yr.....will be a good year for my garden. This farm girl is home again. I might live in suburbia on the edge of farms but I don't have to have a farm to be a farmer.......I just have to have the love of it.

Morning Rituals

I'm a creature of habit. I guess most of us are. So there are things I do each morning and when I don't get to do them, the day seems off. Sometimes the routine changes a bit depending on what we have planned for the day but most of the time its still done, just later on.

Most days the man is up first. Hes one of those early risers and hes learned to not annoy me by closing the bedroom door and leaving me be. Smart man. I had an Uncle that , when he was up, everyone had to be up. I don't understand people like that.

And so unless I'm having sleep issues the man gets up, closes the door and goes to make the coffee. My dog is definitely MY dog lol. Most days even if she really has to go, she wont leave my side but waits for me to rise.

And so I lie there. If its early I fall back to sleep. But that only lasts till 7am on work days, then the man comes in to shower and I have to get up and make his lunch. Otherwise, I lie there till I slowly come to wake up. Then its potty time, get my robe and slippers (only when its cold) and out the door to take the dog potty. By then the man has been up at least an hr, sometimes more. Its a good system. He likes his morning quiet time and gets it.

And then the dog gets her cookie and I get my coffee. The dog is funny tho, if we both get up around the same time she will not eat her cookie till we both are having our coffee. Guess that's HER morning coffee too lol. After I have some coffee, I will go open the blinds in the living room. Whether its gray or sunny the view is gorgeous and it just makes this house feel more alive.

Then the man showers first most days. Even when hes home I often wait till he does his first......again just a stupid habit that feels right. And while hes doing that I have my fruit and yogurt and computer time. Then its my turn.

I used to be a lazy person and rarely made my bed. But with the move I made a point of making my bed daily to get ready for showing the house, long before I had to. I knew if I didn't start that habit, Id never do it and the house wouldn't look good then. And so I decided to keep that habit. To make it more special so Ill keep it up, Ive bought some nicer bedding and pillows that I can change out with the seasons. Gives me incentive to make it pretty.

Then I open the bedroom verticals that look out onto my back porch. I love the way that porch looks so its more incentive to keep that room looking nice too. When the man is home its time for me to start thinking of what to make for brunch. I say brunch because hes not a morning eater and by the time all this is done its heading towards lunch time. So I decide to make either breakfast or lunch depending on whats in the house and my mood.

But its funny, this isn't written in stone.........some days it does change when we have other plans. But there are days like yesterday I just couldn't get in the frame of mind for the routine. I was off the whole day. And so my bed never got made and looking at it just threw my day off more. But it was getting late and I had errands to do. He was working and it was raining. So I try to go early if I can. I hate being out in the rain when its darker...and hes been getting home earlier lately too.

But yesterday the whole day was off and I think its that damn beds fault lol. It rained alot.....no big deal. Ive been out in that before. But somehow it really bothered me yesterday. It made me grumpy and I got soaked and chilled and I was NOT happy. So when I got home I made some hot tea and tried to warm up. It took me all evening to do that. I finally fell asleep by the fire with my blanky wrapped around me and when I woke up I felt warm. But up until that point I didn't even feel good either and hoped I wasn't getting sick. I should have worn a warmer coat. Next time I will.

But that whole day was off because I didn't do my morning routine. So my question is.........do you have a morning routine and if you don't do it , does it throw off your day too? What is your routine?

And so the day begins.........and here come the sirens....

I slept in today till 9am. I'm glad, darn sunshine has been waking me very early and I'm crawling out of bed at 7:30am lately. Now maybe that's a good time for many of you but not me. The man doesn't have to go to work till 2pm and works till 10 so our days have changed. With these hrs. 9am feels right.

And so I sat down here to read blogs and suck down my morning coffee. It was almost 11am when I realized OMG its Farmers Market day!!! And so I ran to shower and get dressed so I could head off to it. I had to hurry cuz I didn't know if it stopped at noon or later. It was almost noon when I left.

Now its summertime here and this is a tourist town. Kurt said the other day when he went to the store, traffic was awful, bumper to bumper. You have to understand tho a major hwy goes right thru my town. In some states its a 6 lane freeway. Here its a two lane country road that widens to four lanes at 30mi in town. As one native told me.....no matter what anyone tells you.......its still gonna take at least 15min to get from one end of town to the other lol I can see that. Which is why some of us go back roads to avoid most of it when we can.

So on my way today I decided to go to the signal light instead of attempting to cross that hwy at the other end of my street. Traffic was busier than normal but it wasn't bad which surprised me. You see there's a Big Kite Festival going on down at the beach. Alot of folks come here just for that. So I figure either I missed it or its later on, I don't know. I did however see some gorgeous kites flying high as I neared the market. I really wanted to go down there but I know parking will be impossible. sigh.

I live here, I'm not a tourist anymore and so I'm becoming a townie. They hibernate till tourist season is over. I can understand it , truly I can. And tourism is most of the business in the area so I really cant complain. But it bugs me cuz I'm still a tourist even tho I live here. I JUST GOT HERE! I haven't seen all the stuff that goes on so I haven't got tired of it all. But I don't want to fight traffic and crowds. I left CA. cuz of all that crap.....so I guess there's no happy medium for me.

I did see something cool......a die hard ...there was a guy on a bike towing a cart........and on that cart was his surfboard! Ive never seen that before, most people put them on their cars.

And so I found my two favorite vendors at the market. I bought another loaf of awesome honey oat whole wheat bread. And last week was this vendor with the most delicious cheese danish! I mean these were seriously good. Most cheese danish have bland doughy bits with a blob of cheese in the middle. These are twisted bits of pastry rolled with butter and cinnamon and shaped into a coil like that which is rolled into  circle. The middle is topped with yummy cheese filling and blueberries. Serious good eats!

And so today I told the lady at the booth I adore her stuff. I bought a big artisan Italian loaf of bread last week and last nite made garlic bread with half of it. OMG!!! I'm telling you.......I could skip the garlic and all the crap and just eat the bread but the combo was thru the roof. I could have skipped dinner and ate just that!  And so I told her, her baked goods are the bomb and that I'm very hard to impress. I am a chef.

She was so happy to hear it and told me where they are I think in Depoe Bay or Newport but the bakery name is Volta so if your in that area check it out. She was a sweet lady perhaps Jamaican so her accent was a bit hard at times to understand but I just loved her. I will be haunting this place at the market every week.

And then I came home to get the man ready for work. So I ran around making breakfast for him and then started his lunch. Hes on a tuna fish kick lately and eats that daily. So I make a big batch and then I don't have to every day for awhile. That picture up there tho was today's tuna and it pissed me off. Notice anything different?

I am going to be emailing Chicken of the Sea. Those were from a pkg. of tuna cans from Costco. One of them is only half full!!! Ive never seen anything like that but I figure if I complain maybe Ill get some freebies cuz they owe me. That stuff isn't free ya know?

And so after all that I decide to finally eat. Its late, the man is almost ready to leave for work. So I mix some of the tuna salad with macaroni salad I made the other nite for dinner. I love to do that! Makes a yummy meal. And then the sirens started.....

That's all Ive been hearing since summer began. So once again I don't live in a quiet neighborhood.....sigh. The hospital is down the street and so is the fire dept. There are airplanes flying overhead Ive never seen before. I think they might be patrolling the coast cuz people disappear ez around here with the sneaker waves and tourists being stupid. And then there's the helicopters that bring in casualties to the hospital behind me.

So much for a quiet summer here......no wonder the natives look forward to winter.

I loveeeee living here in the country!

Today was just a normal day. I had a few errands to run and had to get more eggs too. Had to go to the bank.....so I started there then decided after to wander down to this farm I read about....that's open all week. I found the road and wandered down it. Gosh I love going down these back roads. They LOOK like back-roads.....not suburbia. :)

It reminded me of the old song.......over the river and thru the woods to grandmothers house we goooooo. And I did go thru the woods and past the river were some folks were fishing. Then kept wandering till I saw the sign for the farm. So Ok I thought it would be this really commercial looking place. But it wasn't.

I turned down the road where the sign was but it got even more dense.....and it started to rain so it felt like when I was in Hawaii yrs ago......sort of rain forest-like. I kept wishing I brought my camera and I think I'm going to next time I go there. Finally on this dirt road.......there was another sign for the farm so I turned there.

And the road got even narrower, trees and ferns and some stumps to guide you on your way and then a sharp turn. I felt like I was going to some secret place. Now this was an adventure!

And then suddenly as I made the turn another sign showed me where to park and it was like I was dreaming. The sweetest lil farm I ever saw. I WANT IT! THE WHOLE THING....MINE MINE MINE lol

There were sweet lil rows right there will all sorts of things starting to grow.....baby plants and in between the rows were rows of grass to walk on. At the end of each planted row was a long log placed lengthwise to protect the end of the row....and it was moss covered. There were rows on the left and on the right and in the middle was a path to a sweet lil building......with a sign for the Barking Dog farm. Awwwwww damn I love it!

Inside nobody was there but there were rows of some veggies and a refrig case. I signed the guest book so I could get news of what they had. Things were a bit pricey and I think much was just brought in and not grown there yet. I walked back outside and there was this sweet vine covered wooden deck with a gate. The gate had this goofy dog holding veggies made out of painted metal. And when I looked over the deck there was a sweet lil house and a big greenhouse. Nobody was around but they left a note to call on the call box if I wanted anything.

Not yet....didn't see anything I wanted that was not too pricey but Ill be back. I felt like I stepped right into a storybook. They definitely had a piece of Paradise and its down the other end of town from me, not far.

And so I wandered back down the road, almost sorry to leave. I decided to head back to the outlet mall cuz I was looking for some stainless steel bowls for my FIL for Fathers Day.

I hit both gourmet shops there but I wasn't paying those prices. They are getting smart now...and charging per bowl and then it costs alot more. I bought mine in a set yrs. ago. Ill just have to keep looking and he will have to get them later. But of course I didn't go just in those stores and bought a top for me and two pairs of jeans. But what jeans! These were a knit type fabric that I thought was denim....and they stretched to fit too. So I decided to try them on and omg they fit so nice and felt soo comfy. So I had to buy two pairs at least. ....one tan, one purple. Sadly Ill have to hem them cuz I'm short as a stump and everything I buy is too long.

Then I wandered back home. You see when I called the egg lady earlier she was out fishing, said she would call me when she got home. So after I got home, she called me awhile later. She asked me if I want more fish and of course I said yes! So I asked her if she liked crumb cake and she said YES! So I packed up quite a few pieces to bring with me and the extra empty egg cartons too.

I love going to the egg lady's house. Once again its like going thru the woods and when I arrive Dukey the yellow lab is there to greet me and get a scratch or two. And the chickens are wandering all over. I opened the door and Dukey zeroed right in on the crumb cakes sitting on the floor in the back, sticking his nose in and trying to get past the plastic wrap but I said nonono.......and pushed him away. The egg lady just got there too and had her bucket of fish ready to be cleaned so we wandered inside.

She cleaned the fish and for that I was grateful. Yes I'm a chef but I cant handle blood and guts and so I don't like to do that stuff. When we used to go fishing my ex cleaned them so I never had to and we had prep people in the restaurant so I didn't have to there either. And so I handed her the crumb cakes and told her elderly mom I brought her a sweet snack too.

While I was sitting there her hubby came in and he was too cute smacking her back and forth on her butt while shes trying to clean the fish lol. And so he asked if I wanted them heads on or off and I said doesn't matter, either way. I'm just happy to have them. He told her to cut them off but she didn't. I think he was trying to make points with me (wink) , hes a nice guy too.

And so he talked about making pickled fish with some the last time and had her take some out for me to taste. We often get into these conversations about food and I love it. I'm not crazy about pickled fish and the first batch I tasted was a bit salty. He told her no get the other jar so she did and I tasted that. It was much better but still for me.....not one of my fav. things. But her family is from Finland and such so I know that's a big thing there.

She went off to gather eggs again and he and I chatted awhile about all sorts of things and canning and growing and I gave him some ideas of other herbs to use for the fish too. And so it was getting late and I had to go. Grabbed my purse and stuff and headed out the door. He followed me.

The chickens were running around and I just loved it. Told him I wanted chickens when I got here but Kurt wont let me get any. So I said Ill just live vicariously thru them, this way I can get eggs and enjoy the chickens but not have all the mess. I can be the country girl and the city girl at the same time. He laughed and showed me his bare butt chickens. I'm serious , his black and whites for some reason were molting feathers off their back ends.....damn they have to be cold. lol

It started to rain and so I got in the car to go home. He told me about some of the biddies wandering down the road the other day......side by side like they were leaving home. lol I laughed and asked did they leave? He said no they came back but it was funny to see. As I said goodbye I saw some of the chickens down the end of that driveway wandering off and he wandered down there too.

I turned my car around in the big driveway to head out and saw him take the small riding digger he had and round up the birds and shoo them back towards home in the rain. I pulled up beside him in my car and opened the windows. I said I guess this is how you chicken wrangle these days and he agreed and laughed.

I wandered back down the wooded road that goes around the lake and realized just how happy I was . I wished that I brought my camera here too to show you all the sweet chickens they have. I loved where I wandered today, I love the coastal beachy town I'm in, I Love the back roads and small town feel and even the people I'm meeting. It don't get any better than that.

Can a house change you?

I have to wonder, does where you live change who you are? And if its true then perhaps that's why people often don't stay where they were born. If you have a divine purpose that you are supposed to fulfill before you die...what if you were not born where your supposed to do that work? And what if you stubbornly cling to that life you were born to.......do you never fulfill your purpose?

I started thinking about that today while in the shower. Last nite I caught QVC and the Bare Escentuals program. I love that makeup and have a ton of it. Its expensive but lasts such a long time so I don't mind the expense. And I love that it all mixes and matches and is actually good for your skin. I like to buy the kits because they are such great values. And so last nite I did and then I bought alot of other makeup from the site too. It would save me shipping to order it all at once but that's not why I did it. Even tho I have alot here, there are some things I use often and thought Id stock up. I cant seem to find alot of things I use, up here.

But the other reason was because I started to use my makeup again while up here. Ive always been the kind of woman who didn't go out without her face. Partly thru habit cuz the ex hated to see me looking just like me I guess. He wanted a perfect trophy wife and even when I did this stuff, he still wasn't happy. Took me yrs to realize the problem was him not me. But when I left I got into makeup and all the pretty girly things Ive always loved but couldn't afford cuz of him and I just loved it.

Those of you who really know me, know I'm a girly girl even in sweats. Its who I am. And my house is girly too. And when my bf K, landed in my life he loved that girly girl. He came to live in my girly house and didn't mind it at all. That made me happy and so I gave him a room of his own for his man cave. He even has one now in this new house and I bought him a rug that he loved, just so it would be his place. But over time, my life got stuck and even tho he was there and we were happy with each other, other parts of that life, just got stuck.

Overtime I didn't always put on makeup cuz we were home and K says I'm beautiful no matter what. It does help to have a man who loves you and cannot see you close up hehehe. Everything close up but without his glasses, is fuzzy. But really that doesn't mean he doesn't see me at all. Farther away he can. In fact this morning he noticed I have on makeup.....my pretties as he calls it.

But all these last yrs, I didn't wear makeup in the house only when I went out. I got lazy I guess. But also that house it did something to me, feeling so very stuck there. I know I got depressed and when you are you tend to not take care of yourself. But I never got so depressed I didn't shower or color my hair or all the other things I love. It was just the makeup. And so today  wondered why.

Ive been so very happy in this house. Yes I know its all new and that's easy to feel when its new. But its different too and its changing me. Maybe it was time to out grow the other house.....time to move on to fulfill my purpose. More and more I'm feeling light and girly again. I'm feeling more like me. And even looking around this house, many things I brought with me I may not keep. And things that I thought would be in certain places in a new home......are being moved too.

I always had roses in my bedroom. I still do even now. But the curtains and bedding I'm thinking may be relegated to the guest room now. I can still have the girly guest room. And I have that bed I love so much and many girly things still in my bedroom too. But this room is much bigger and I have a gorgeous balcony off of it. I put a wing chair in there and I'm going to put a table in there next to it to make it a bit of a retreat too. I didn't have that before. I'm even thinking of moving this bed to be catty corner instead of right on the wall. Something different. But mostly I looked at my stuff and thought......I need a new comforter. I have a matelasse cover on the bed in blue and white with pink sheets and those same colors mixed in the cases and throw pillows. It looks really nice.

But sudden I have this need to make it more sophisticated, more grown up. I don't know why. These things really are me. But maybe now that Ive moved here, I'm becoming more of who I really need to be. I said a long time ago that menopause is painful because you are finally giving birth to yourself. And just recently I saw a quote that said sleeping beauty finally woke up at age 50. But now I'm pushing 60. So I wonder now......did I have to move to finish my birthing process to finally be the real me?

I won a little prize....

This is my prize!

This morning when I got up, I did my usual routine. I come online in here, then do my mail, then look at all the blogs Ive bookmarked on blogger. Today one lady was having a giveaway on her blog. Many of the crafty ladies do that. I may do that too once I get this business going. This lady tho just posted her blog and said the first 3 people to respond will get a prize.

Ok, now Ive seen this done elsewhere and I never win.......there's usually hundreds of comments then and they use a random generator to pick a number. But since this lady said first 3 and I saw 0 comments, I thought cool! I'm gonna win. Once I posted a comment tho I saw it was moderated comments. That meant I couldn't see it till the blog owner allowed them to be posted. I could be number 5 billion and not know it. Oh well, I figured I never win anyways.

Now I just started going to this ladies blog the last week or so. And I liked it enough to bookmark it . Funny.....one of her older blogs is about her nests that she makes and I thought, I really like those. Shes also from Oregon so that did it for me, I added her. And you can do if you like http://treasuresfromtheheartgifts.blogspot.com/

So today I got an email that I won! And I wrote her back and my lil nest will be on its way sometime this week. Oh , and I may be making a new friend too. She wont be that far from where I'm hoping to live that we cant connect sometime. She says she will make nests and I can cook lol .......darn I'm always stuck cooking! lol

So for now because Ill be moving in a bit, I did this with the lil nest. I had a cheese dome and since domes are all the rage right now, I put it in there . I tucked in a piece of lace, some dried flowers and the next. Its a bit cramped in there right now. Hopefully once I land in my new home, Ill be able to find a dome that fits or another cute place to put it. But Thank You Barb for such a sweet gift.

My New Blog

This blog will be the sequel of sorts to my Mermaids Treasures blog. Mermaids has herbal info, recipes of all kinds and food stories.

Seanymph's Treasures will be for crafts, decor and all about my move to Oregon and the new home projects.

For now I will be bringing over any home decor or craft blogs and related items to this page from my personal blog. When I sell this house, I may be offline for a month or so till I find a new home to settle into. So if you see nothing new for awhile, thats what will be happening. I will leave a note here tho so you all know for sure.

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