Trying to drum up some good stuff...

I'm trying to drum up some holiday spirit here.........gonna be probably the worst holiday Ive ever had and my spirit is so down. And so today I decided I really need to get those pumpkins cooked . I started it and realized I was really sick of tv so I turned the music on my cable to the Christmas music.

Now normally I cant stand it....I usually only listen to it when its close to the holiday. But I did this and it seems to be working. I got two pumpkins cut up and roasted and also the seeds to it. I still have 4 more to cook but Ill be working on them tomorrow. Now I have a ham in the oven for dinner.

Then my friend gave me 3 pumpkins. I thought she was just giving me one till she heard what I do with them lol. And so Ill bake them off and bag hers up so she can freeze them. I told her Ill make some pumpkin butter with one of them for her too. Shes always giving me things and helping me so its ok.

And my bf loves pumpkin seeds and he will have plenty after this week . First batch is done now. I just salted these. But I think the next batch Ill make the Vampire ones.......they have Worcestershire and garlic :)

But my bf and I are actually listening to this music as we putter around the house here. Hes singing silly words to some of the songs and whistling some...I'm just plain singing. So many of them are the oldies I grew up with.....Perry Como, Burl Ives, Jimmy Durante, Dean Martin so many classics that just never seem to go out of style. Some my dad used to sing and it reminded me of him. Of course dad always changed the words and they weren't always nice lolol .....but I loved it.

And then there's I saw Mommy Kissing Santa one......and others and if they play Gramma got run over by a Reindeer that will remind me of mom.


And then here's one of my very favorite ones.....gotta be the Eartha Kitt one tho.....its sexy. lol Then there was the classic Perry Como ,,,,Drummer Boy.....now if they would just play Nat King Cole's ....Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.....that is my all time fav.....altho it might make me cry too . lol

So now I'm on FB playing a game (OMG) I never do that but got hooked on their Bejeweled version. I love that game. And the house smells good like ham....and the music is playing ............and I think my mood has improved some. Now if I can just hang onto it till Christmas.

Merry Christmas and memories

I want to wish all my friends and readers a Merry Christmas. I haven't blogged much this holiday season. I wanted to post my holiday decor but its been hit or miss this yr.

The movers repacked many of my Christmas boxes and so I had a very hard time finding anything. I found my turkey roaster packed in between clothes and a bottle of balsamic vinegar in a box of Christmas. And so its been a very frustrating season for me.

Ive been baking alot to send goodies to family and friends and that hasn't been going very well either. So it took me longer and now boxes wont be going out till Monday.

Ive been very moody and cranky lately too. Its taken me many days to figure out why but I finally did. I love my new home, I love where Ive landed. I love the state I live in too. I'm not homesick for CA. I just miss my children and grand children. Christmas there were so many traditions, many carried over from my in laws when they passed away. I became the keeper of the traditions. It was alot of work but I loved seeing everyone happy. I guess it was my gift to them.

Last Christmas I was packed and ready to move a week or so before it. So I took my family out to a nice Italian restaurant that served many things we would eat on Christmas. It was a wonderful nite, one Ill never forget. But now theres nothing. My children need to stay where they are because of work.....so no one could come up here. My bf just found work so we couldn't go down there.

And so all the things I used to do, suddenly had no meaning........its like someone cut off an arm. And I was in pain but didn't know it yet. Its been a hard holiday for me.

Today we will be with my bfs parents and that's nice but its not my family. I tried hard after my divorce to keep things normal every yr and traditions going. And now I'm gone from there too. It was the one thing I hated about the move.

So my children are floundering with their holiday and trying to make it as good as they are able. And my grand kids miss some of the traditions. We always baked together, they put up the village and nativity and helped with the tree. And we all sat around my dining room table, laughing and sharing the big Italian Christmas feast. Memories.......that's all I have left now.

I am no longer the mom who does Christmas. It hit me just like it did when my children were done with school and I didn't have to school shop or prepare them for the next yr. I felt lost then too and didn't know what was wrong. I got past that tho. Ill get past this too someday I'm sure. I just have to process this like I did with the school thing.

But right now its painful and sad .........and I feel lost.

I bet the angels in heaven are smiling down on this!

A holiday question.......

Ive been thinking about the holidays alot and how it was when I was a kid. We had one of those icky silver Christmas trees but a small one maybe 4ft. We lived in half a duplex and so the house was small. Mom would take the kneehole desk and cover it with brick paper and top it with fake snow so it looked almost like a fireplace, then put the tree on top of it. We used to have a few of those cute lil Paper Putz houses that are glittered. I always loved those and now they are a very expensive collectible. But the one thing I really loved was the town that we would put together. These were plastic buildings and had interlocking sides. They may have been used for making toy train scenes, I really don't know. I remember having a few buildings and a church and my favorite thing each Christmas was to build them and arrange them. Ive looked over the yrs for them to try to get some of my own and have never ever seen another one anywhere. I don't even know what else they may be called. Maybe one day Ill be lucky enough to find them.

So my question of the day is...........what part of decorating for the holidays from when you were a kid........is your favorite memory?