I guess I'm a farm girl at heart

I dreamt of this but got a patch on the edge of suburbia. lol


I was sitting here on the computer, when I suddenly noticed the sun had come out. It was raining all morning. And so I opened my blinds overlooking the mtns and it was so beautiful. So here I am in my jammies and I decided to go outside on my back deck to soak up some sun. The Mormons were gathering at the church at the bottom of the hill. Rain was dripping from the trees in the woods and the birds were all singing, not just chirping,,,,,,,,,but singing. I closed my eyes to take it all in.....smells of rain and dirt, sound of the birds and the feel of sun on my face. I love it here.

And then coming back inside, reading here and there I'm seeing more women speak of being farm girls. I guess I am one too at heart. I don't think you actually have to have a farm to be one, I think its a mindset. There are women who have huge farms and work hard and love it. And there are suburban women who have a yard and garden and can what comes from it. And even some city women grow a few things or can or at least try to buy good organic or local stuff.

Now not all women are meant for that, just like all men are not meant to work all the time either. In some ways these days the gender expectations are blurring and its ok as long as someone is tending the children and home. But so many are working to survive both men and women and I think we are suffering because of that. I don't think life is meant to be lived this way, so hectic so .......being ON all the time. Even God rested.

And so I think burn out is occurring all over with men and women. And life is going to have to change once again. I always said Women's Liberation ruined my life. They made it so if your not outside of the home working, you were defective some how. Ive worked outside my home.....and burnt out over and over trying to do it all. Ive often said I need a wife too. And I think many men just don't get it. They have wives who do the rest for them. They get to go to work and come home and not worry about anything unless they have to. And its not fair.

Now I know there are more and more men understanding this because of moms who did work at a job and at home. We have to thank those moms for training their boys to help do their share. So many men today are more enlightened. But not enough. And so I think this back to the farm feeling women are having is for a good reason, we are tired and burnt out trying to have it all and do it all. The truth is you cannot have it all........at least not all at the same time lol

And so I think more and more women are becoming farm girls and realizing while doing that is hard work too.....its still a simpler life. People are on overload and nature helps to calm. Ive been feeling out of sorts lately and going outside today in that sunshine, made me feel a bit better. And Ive been working on my garden now that the weather is nicer too.

Just yesterday in between storms, I went out to do more on my raised beds. One of those times my bf came outside and watched me while he smoked. I think hes very surprised by all this,,,seeing a part of me hes never known. And so I told him this is actually normal for me. While I didn't grow up with parents who gardened, my grandparents did. I recall helping them in the summers when I stayed there and loving every minute of that. And so when I married I had a garden too.

My FIL used to have a big one so my ex grew up with that too. In our first house there was an empty lot next door. The city owned it but it was too small to build a house on it. So we plowed up half of it , fenced it in and grew a garden. We used to call it the North 40, lol. I told my bf , I had 40 tomato plants and 30 pepper plants, lots of string beans, carrots, beets, lettuce and onions and herbs. I spent most of the summer canning. He seemed surprised.

I told him I didn't grow much in CA. I did a yr or two and thought the kids would come pick things. After all it was just me then. But they didn't and it was alot of work for just me. And I tried 2-3 times when he was living with me too. But it got way too hot too soon and I could never get the plants in. He watched them wither and die even when he tried to keep them alive. So I guess he thought I was kidding or something when we moved here.

And then I had these raised beds put in here but they were put in late. So we didn't get much and again I think he thought, I wasted my time and money. But last yr I did buy alot of fruits and things for canning. And he watched me doing that alot in my kitchen, rather surprised. Again I told him I used to do it all the time. And so I think this yr.....will be a good year for my garden. This farm girl is home again. I might live in suburbia on the edge of farms but I don't have to have a farm to be a farmer.......I just have to have the love of it.