Can a house change you?

I have to wonder, does where you live change who you are? And if its true then perhaps that's why people often don't stay where they were born. If you have a divine purpose that you are supposed to fulfill before you die...what if you were not born where your supposed to do that work? And what if you stubbornly cling to that life you were born to.......do you never fulfill your purpose?

I started thinking about that today while in the shower. Last nite I caught QVC and the Bare Escentuals program. I love that makeup and have a ton of it. Its expensive but lasts such a long time so I don't mind the expense. And I love that it all mixes and matches and is actually good for your skin. I like to buy the kits because they are such great values. And so last nite I did and then I bought alot of other makeup from the site too. It would save me shipping to order it all at once but that's not why I did it. Even tho I have alot here, there are some things I use often and thought Id stock up. I cant seem to find alot of things I use, up here.

But the other reason was because I started to use my makeup again while up here. Ive always been the kind of woman who didn't go out without her face. Partly thru habit cuz the ex hated to see me looking just like me I guess. He wanted a perfect trophy wife and even when I did this stuff, he still wasn't happy. Took me yrs to realize the problem was him not me. But when I left I got into makeup and all the pretty girly things Ive always loved but couldn't afford cuz of him and I just loved it.

Those of you who really know me, know I'm a girly girl even in sweats. Its who I am. And my house is girly too. And when my bf K, landed in my life he loved that girly girl. He came to live in my girly house and didn't mind it at all. That made me happy and so I gave him a room of his own for his man cave. He even has one now in this new house and I bought him a rug that he loved, just so it would be his place. But over time, my life got stuck and even tho he was there and we were happy with each other, other parts of that life, just got stuck.

Overtime I didn't always put on makeup cuz we were home and K says I'm beautiful no matter what. It does help to have a man who loves you and cannot see you close up hehehe. Everything close up but without his glasses, is fuzzy. But really that doesn't mean he doesn't see me at all. Farther away he can. In fact this morning he noticed I have on makeup.....my pretties as he calls it.

But all these last yrs, I didn't wear makeup in the house only when I went out. I got lazy I guess. But also that house it did something to me, feeling so very stuck there. I know I got depressed and when you are you tend to not take care of yourself. But I never got so depressed I didn't shower or color my hair or all the other things I love. It was just the makeup. And so today  wondered why.

Ive been so very happy in this house. Yes I know its all new and that's easy to feel when its new. But its different too and its changing me. Maybe it was time to out grow the other house.....time to move on to fulfill my purpose. More and more I'm feeling light and girly again. I'm feeling more like me. And even looking around this house, many things I brought with me I may not keep. And things that I thought would be in certain places in a new home......are being moved too.

I always had roses in my bedroom. I still do even now. But the curtains and bedding I'm thinking may be relegated to the guest room now. I can still have the girly guest room. And I have that bed I love so much and many girly things still in my bedroom too. But this room is much bigger and I have a gorgeous balcony off of it. I put a wing chair in there and I'm going to put a table in there next to it to make it a bit of a retreat too. I didn't have that before. I'm even thinking of moving this bed to be catty corner instead of right on the wall. Something different. But mostly I looked at my stuff and thought......I need a new comforter. I have a matelasse cover on the bed in blue and white with pink sheets and those same colors mixed in the cases and throw pillows. It looks really nice.

But sudden I have this need to make it more sophisticated, more grown up. I don't know why. These things really are me. But maybe now that Ive moved here, I'm becoming more of who I really need to be. I said a long time ago that menopause is painful because you are finally giving birth to yourself. And just recently I saw a quote that said sleeping beauty finally woke up at age 50. But now I'm pushing 60. So I wonder now......did I have to move to finish my birthing process to finally be the real me?